Reyhaneh Jabbari, the Iranian woman who was hanged yesterday by the Iranian regime’s henchman after 7 years imprisonment had released her will in a voice message from prison. .
In a heart-rending message to her family in April – beginning with her mother Sholeh – 26-year-old Reyhaneh Jabbari tells how she trusted the law, but has faced death for the crime of defending herself against an agent of Iranian regime’s intelligence who tried to rape her.
English translation of Reyhaneh Jabbari’s will explains:
Dear Sholeh, today I learned that it is now my turn to face Qisas (the Iranian regime’s law of retribution). I am hurt as to why you did not let me know yourself that I have reached the final page of my life. Don’t you think that I should know? You know how ashamed I am that you are sad. Why did you not let me have the chance to kiss your hand and that of dad’s?
The world allowed me to live for 19 years. That ominous night, it was I that should have been killed. My body would have been thrown in some corner of the city, and after a few days, the police would have taken you to the coroner’s office to identify my body and there you would have also learned that I had been raped as well. The murderer would have never been found since we don’t have their wealth nor their power. Then you would have continued your life suffering and ashamed, and a few years later you would have died because of this suffering and it would have ended like that.
However, with that cursed blow the story changed. My body was not thrown aside, but was thrown into the grave of Evin Prison and its solitary wards, and now the grave-like prison of Shahr-e Ray. But give in to the fate and don’t complain. You know better that death is not the end of life.
You taught me that one comes to this world to gain an experience and learn a lesson and with each birth a responsibility is put on one’s shoulder. I learned that sometimes one has to fight. I do remember when you told me that the man who protested the one who was flogging him, but the flogger hit him on his face with the lash and that ultimately led to his death. You told me that for creating a value one should persevere even if one dies.
You taught us that as we go to school one should be a lady in face of the quarrels and complaints. Do you remember how much you underlined the way we behave? Your experience was incorrect. When this incident happened, my teachings did not help me. Being presented in court made me appear as a cold-blooded murderer and a ruthless criminal. I shed no tears. I did not beg. I did not cry my head off since I trusted the law.
But I was charged with being indifferent in face of a crime. You see, I didn’t even kill mosquitoes and I threw away the cockroaches by taking them by their antennas. Now I have become a premeditated murderer. My treatment was like an animal and I was interpreted as being inclined to be a boy and the judge didn’t even trouble himself to look at the fact that at the time of the incident I had long and polished nails.
How optimistic was he who expected justice from the judges! He never questioned the fact that my hands are not coarse like those of a sportswoman, especially a boxer. And this country that you planted its love in me never wanted me and no one supported me when under the blows of the interrogator. I was crying out and I was hearing the most vulgar terms. When I shed the last sign of beauty from myself by shaving my hair I was rewarded: 11 days in solitary.
Dear Sholeh, don’t cry for what you are hearing. On the first day in the police office when an old unmarried agent hurt me for my nails, I understood that beauty is not looked for in this era. The beauty of looks, beauty of thoughts and wishes, a beautiful handwriting, beauty of the eyes and vision, and even beauty of a nice voice.
My dear mother, my ideology has changed and you are not responsible for it. My words are unending and I gave it all to someone so that when I am executed without your presence and knowledge, it would be given to you. I left you much handwritten material as my heritage.
However, before my death I want something from you, which you have to provide for me with all your might and in any way that you can. In fact this is the only thing I want from this world, this country and you. I know you need time for this. Therefore, I am telling you part of my will sooner. Please don’t cry and listen. I want you to go to the court and tell them my request. I cannot write such a letter from inside the prison that would be approved by the head of prison; so once again you have to suffer because of me. It is the only thing that if even you beg for, I would not become upset, although I have told you many times not to beg to save me from being executed.
My kind mother, dear Sholeh, the one more dearly to me than my life, I don’t want to rot under the soil. I don’t want my eye or my young heart to turn into dust. Beg so that it is arranged that as soon as I am hanged, my heart, kidney, eye, bones and anything that can be transplanted be taken away from my body and given to someone who needs them as a gift. I don’t want the recipient to know my name, buy me a bouquet or even pray for me. I am telling you from the bottom of my heart that I don’t want to have a grave for you to come and mourn there and suffer. I don’t want you to wear black clothing for me. Do your best to forget my difficult days. Give me to the wind to take away.
The world did not love us. It did not want my fate. And now I am giving in to it and embracing death. Because, in the court of God I will charge the prosecutions, I will charge inspector Shamlou, I will charge the judge, and the judges of country’s Supreme Court that beat me up when I was awake and did not refrain from harassing me. In the court of the creator I will charge Dr. Farvandi, I will charge Qassem Shabani and all those that out of ignorance or with their lies, wronged me and trampled on my rights and didn’t pay heed to the fact that sometimes what appears as reality, is really different.
Dear soft-hearted Sholeh, in the other world it is you and me who are the accusers and others who are the accused. .
Let’s see what God wants. I wanted to embrace you until I die.
I love you.
April 1, 2014